Care Syndrome

Loving comes at its own price.

One of the biggest drawbacks of being in love is that it creates a feeling of care. We care for the one we love- our parents, siblings, cousins, friends, neighbors, children and pets. And with care comes the feeling of insecurity, “Is he/she/it ok?” While some manage this worry for other’s well being by overt thoughts and actions, few have the capability to take their concerns with a grain of salt. They are able to let go of the feeling of worry for the ones they love. 

Unfortunately, it is difficult for most to separate the feeling of concern with the other individual’s free will. Sometimes it borders on interference. In the life, we lead today not many appreciate being indulged with perennial concern.

They want to be free to witness life and not be held back by someone’s anxiety that they often term as ‘nagging’. 

It is a life skill to understand that the other needs his/her own freedom to think, to take risks, to learn. It is important to be an emotional anchor but a shadowy one. No one wants an ‘in your face’ person in their lives who are always in SOS mode. It is best to give one personal space and be a support only when needed. The question now is how we can love but not hold the strings too tight?

How can we care but not intrude?

The only way to achieve this is by being confident about ourselves. Caring to an excessive point is often a defense mechanism where the individual projects his/her own concerns on the person or object of affection. These concerns usually pertain to the insecurities that lie within a person, about and for his/her own self. So, if we can learn to love ourselves, and to accept our own selves with all our faults, all our areas of improvements, with all our handicaps, only then can we love freely, care freely and give freely.

Let’s start the journey today.  Let’s be the fireworks that light our own lives and, that of others in our environment and in turn of the world. 

In words of Sensei (SGI President) “A great human revolution in just a single individual will help achieve a change in the destiny of a nation and, further, can even enable a change in the destiny of all humankind.”
― Daisaku Ikeda, The Human Revolution